Posted on by Micki Finn
There is a lot of aspects to crossdressing that many people don’t always think about. This is especially true if things are going well for you. One aspect is for those of us who initially struggled along with those who are still in that camp. Crossdresser coping strategies are needed to live with our compulsion successfully. Wives and girlfriends on the other hand need to develop a strategy of coping with crossdressers.
My story is typical with the years of guilt and shame leading to a few purges followed by shopping sprees eventually. I finally realized that was not working and getting expensive and what I needed was a crossdresser coping strategy. My first crossdresser convention was a milestone in the pre internet days when I discovered I was not alone. Comparing notes with some very real down to earth people many of whom had very impressive backgrounds was key. By a chance meeting at a convention in Texas led me to join a local club near my home. The club turned into a major crossdresser coping strategy for me as I made new friends and learned from them.
As we became more comfortable with each other it was possible to learn ways to improve your crossdresser coping strategy. The constant lesson was to accept it, make a place for it, schedule time to indulge it, and most of all enjoy it! Being a member of an organized crossdresser club with regularly scheduled meetings checked most of those boxes. Once I accepted and embraced it crossdresser coping was no longer an issue. I have written other posts about crossdresser integrity speaking to the character and values we possess.
COPING WITH CROSSDRESSING
Wives, girlfriends, and significant others choose a strategy for coping with crossdressing loved ones. It is not always an easy path because we are complex and seem to have conflicting personalities. The one that they were initially attracted to has another side to it which takes some getting used to. The question of staying or leaving surfaces early on and leads to a coping with crossdressing strategy. OR NOT!
It does not always work out unfortunately but honesty, communication, and education are crucial for a successful coping with crossdressing strategy. How and what the wife or girlfriend learn and when they learn it are critical. They need to find out information from the crossdresser who needs to have all the answers in advance. I have heard many sad stories where the wife found out on her own by accident. She then does some research on the internet and finds all the dating and porn sites getting the wrong impression of crossdressers. Changing her mind is a huge battle especially since her trust is very low having not been told at the start of the relationship.
If trust and understanding can be established a coping strategy for everyone can develop. The crossdresser understands the urge to crossdress is not going away. If the wife or girlfriend understands that and is not threatened by it things will work out. Limits can be agreed upon and time can be set aside for crossdressing easing the tension all around. Both the crossdresser coping and the wife or girlfriend coping with crossdressing are now working.
At La Bella 2024 and La Bella 2025 we took time to thank these wonderful ladies with gold plated roses. It was my wife’s idea as a way to recognize them for supporting their crossdresser.
